Dear May,
You have been so good to me. I wrote in a blog post beginning of this year,
Lastly, I spoke at a conference for the first time in my life. I promised to give myself due credit for the littlest milestones and I will today. I am very proud of myself. The past month has been surreal in every way. Expressing my thoughts on stage was cool, but receiving genuine feedback from people was a gift. We all need feedback, good or bad because that is how we grow. I am filled with so much gratitude.
You have been so good to me. I wrote in a blog post beginning of this year,
You don't just move on from your problems no matter how you want to. That is why I am afraid to make new year resolutions. Do we really stick to those? Having said that, I look back at the past two months and realized I've been subconsciously making changes to better myself, and I'd like to give myself credit for that...It's time I stop undermining myself and begin to truly live in the moment. To own less and to do more. To live, not regret. To love myself and be selfish if I needed to. To accept criticism but not broken. To see the world without losing myself. Easier said than done, but I am only human.
My confidence in new year resolutions is bleak but I believe in taking chances. One open door leads to another. It doesn't matter if I don't know where I'm going as long as I keep on going. What a cringe-worthy statement. Ew. But cliches are real.
Nigel went to Kenya for five weeks for his school's overseas community immersion programme. It's never easy being separated from a loved one by distance and time, even if five weeks seem so insignificant compared to a lifetime. But I am so lucky to be able to communicate with him every night because reading his text messages about his day makes me smile. This May, I was shown to a different side of love, a foreign concept that only a yearning heart could grasp. I am so lucky.
School is officially out. What a surreal moment having to be in the education system for more than 16 years. It's a long time, end of a chapter, but I feel like my life has just begun. Maybe it's pure foolishness of youth to think a working life would kill the soul, yet the 22-going-23-year-old self feels optimistic about my future. My friend Kaixin once told me, "you go to school to learn how to learn". May this attitude endure the rest of my adulthood.
Lastly, I spoke at a conference for the first time in my life. I promised to give myself due credit for the littlest milestones and I will today. I am very proud of myself. The past month has been surreal in every way. Expressing my thoughts on stage was cool, but receiving genuine feedback from people was a gift. We all need feedback, good or bad because that is how we grow. I am filled with so much gratitude.
Wow, what a difference a few months could make. Looking back, life is amazing and it's worth living. I wish I knew that in my teens.
Thank you, May. I want to always remember you.
